The Science of Thinking and Doing

I know you can overthink, and you can underthink, but can you ever just think? I think you can in Europe. -A revised quote inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You

Where are all my perfectionists and procrastinators out there? The ones who say "I work best when the deadline is just around the corner," or "I'll get it done eventually." Odds are, you probably do get it done eventually...if it's a task for work or something where you're being held externally accountable. But what about goals you purely set for yourself? Do you get those done "eventually" or do they just sort of remain half completed or over engineered and never executed?

As I'm writing this very post, I'm doing just that - overthinking the launch of this blog and doing everything in my power to try to distract myself from actually doing any writing. But guess what, I wrote the sentences above this, and now this sentence too. And how did I do it? How does it feel like it's suddenly getting easier and easier with every single keystroke? I let myself think about this post for a set amount of time - 5 minutes. You get 5 minutes to think about what you want to write about and why. And sometimes, the exact thing you're struggling with is the exact thing you need to write about. So 5 minutes, that's how long I gave myself to overthink a post on overthinking. And then I said, "Just start typing. It doesn't have to be perfect and guess what, it won't be...because nothing is. Period."

Oops...picked up my phone to check my messages and broke my flow. Why did I do that? It's so automatic - an easy way my brain is used to distracting itself from something that makes it nervous. Just start typing again and get back into the flow. Why should typing your thoughts make you nervous? You've got TONS of them...too many? No, never feel bad about thinking a lot. Because it's a superpower if you know how to channel it and use it. But first, let's understand it because you love doing that in that busy brain of yours, don't you?

So let's use some classic overthinking to break down why we overthink ourselves into a stand still. Let's start with the scenario where you have an actual deadline that isn't self-imposed. Someone is counting on you to get something done. Your performance will be reviewed or you will be graded. Now you've got something that's big and messy and it matters to other people besides you...people are counting on it, expecting it, waiting to see what you'll do.

Everyone's watching, to see what you will do-ooo-oo.

So you have all this external pressure on you and know you're going to be judged. How fun is that? Fun if you're confident that you'll own it I suppose, but maybe not so fun if you aren't. But let's be honest...you always own it, right? Because you're a perfectionist procrastinator, and when your back is up against the wall, you crush it. You get praised for it, it turned out great. You wonder, "Why do I put it off and let myself get so worked up?" Well, here's what I've realized about myself, and maybe it applies to you - I've trained my nervous system to need anxiety to give me the energy to complete the hard tasks.

Why? What kind of sicko would do that? Well, think of it like activation energy. For those of you who may not remember chemistry from school, activation energy is the energy that is needed to start a chemical reaction. You might remember a graph that looks something like this from chemistry (or you might have blocked that out).

Thanks to King of the Curve for this graphic

So essentially, by letting yourself be super anxious and putting off the task until the deadline, you're letting that anxiety build and build and build until it's all bottled up and humming inside of you, and the energy becomes so intense with the deadline looming that you finally release it. Damn, that was a lot. Now it's done and I can crash, and I definitely don't have energy for anything else, certainly not to workout or practice piano or any of those other self-imposed goals. Maybe I'll just watch some TV instead, because after overthinking, I need to underthink.

And what about those goals we set for ourselves? Do we ever get back to them? Maybe sometimes...in short bursts. We decide, "Today is the day I'm going to change my life and do all the things I want to do." And then we do them for a week, maybe two, or maybe we have a cool idea for a screenplay or a song or a book and jot down some notes and think, "I'll get back to that." But the reality is, we use up so much more of our energy procrastinating and overthinking and afraid to start on things we really care about because they might not be good enough. Good enough for who? Good enough for you. Because we are our own worst critics.

What's more, we are using a source of activation energy to complete obligatory tasks that depletes and doesn't replenish. Those tasks we want to do but never seem to have the energy for are often the very tasks that if we actually did them, would fill our tanks. Expressing ourselves creatively, moving our bodies, replenishing our souls. But instead, we burn ourselves out perpetually with the cycle of procrastination, perfectionism, and overthinking.

So how do we disrupt this cycle? How do we reduce our activation energy? Well, let's turn back to chemistry for a second (Don't groan, I promise it'll help...maybe...probably). You might remember these things called enzymes - they catalyze reactions and reduce the activation energy needed to get started. I'm sure you've heard catalyst used before to describe something that set something else in motion. It's the same concept, except the catalyst in this case for chemical reactions is the enzyme.

So how do enzymes accomplish this feat of lowering activation energy? A couple of ways. They might bring the different ingredients in the reaction physically closer together. They might optimize the environment where the reaction is taking place. And they might help stabilize the transition state...essentially the part of the reaction where you are building up the energy before you start cascading down the curve to complete your task. So here's the fun part - how can you learn from an enzyme? How can you lower your own activation energy and stabilize your transition state? Ahhhh see, the metaphor is paying off.

Here are things that work for me (and they're backed by behavioral science):

• Break it down. Smaller tasks take less energy to start. So chunk it out, and then create a schedule with deadlines that are closer than your actual end all, be all deadline. Give each little chunk it's own little deadline to bring the parts of your reaction closer together.

• Remove distractions (like your phone that you want to keep checking). Go into a bubble, remove anything that tempts you from your space, close the door, play some motivational music that helps you focus, and optimize your environment.

• Talk to someone - bounce ideas off of people, ask for help or guidance when you need it, and don't think you have to tough it all out alone. Sometimes getting some outside perspective and sharing your concerns and anxieties in a respectful way (with someone who is ready to and wants to listen - that part is important) is actually all you need to stabilize the transition state and get started.

Now, I understand that when you're really in an anxious spin about something, all of those things are pretty damn hard to do. So if you're anxiety is so high that you're just stuck in a jittery paralysis about the whole thing, try these first, then do the ones up above afterwards:

• Breathe. This is the oldest trick in the book, and also the quickest way to calm yourself and stabilize. Try breathing in deeply through your nose to the count of four, holding for four, exhaling through your nose or mouth if you prefer to the count of four, then holding at the bottom for four. It's call box breathing, and it works. You can also extend the exhale to a count of six or eight to really calm yourself.

• Sit with it. This one sounds counter intuitive, but it's kind of like removing distractions in a different way. Instead of going to an old friend like TV or video games or something that you use to turn off your brain and underthink, let yourself feel the anxiety completely. Sometimes when anxiety isn't going away, it's because it wants to tell you something. Breathe first, but then close your eyes, keep breathing, and really become aware of what you're feeling in your body. Focus on your breath and the sensations you are feeling, acknowledge them, and let them know you are here to listen. I know it sounds silly, but I swear it works. You will get more clarity than you can imagine by simply sitting with your anxiety like a friend trying to tell you something.

• Write it out. After you've calmed yourself physically and sat with it emotionally, write down your learnings on paper. This will help solidify what you learned about your anxiety in that moment. Then end the notes with something positive like, "I can do this!" or whatever less corny version of an affirmation resonates with you in the moment. Say it out loud even. Affirmations are a staple of behavior change for a reason.

If you do this consistently, I assure you it will help immensely with your procrastination. And if you also consistently remind yourself that no one expects perfect and moreover, perfect doesn't exist, it will help all the more. I'm doing all these things actively to get this blog launched, and it's working. It's not a cure all, and you'll still hit road blocks. But that's why I'm sharing the blocks and the wins, because it's all part of the work. There are others things I'm trying too, and I promise to share those insights here because maybe you can benefit from all the experimenting I do on myself. But for now, I think I've thought this one to death - but also done something and written a whole post. So happy thinking and doing!